August 2011
29 posts
My boyfriend is awesome
“Sooo I love you a lot and I actually mean it when I say it. You honestly have brought so much joy to my life, I don’t know what I would do without you. It sucks that we have so much chemistry and we just met :/….hopefully forever :) I hope it doesn’t scare you when I I tell you I want to be with you forever…I am lol it’s a good scare though if that makes sense haha but yeah it feels...
god, i love him.
we said “i love you” for the first time today…and it feels so right even though we haven’t even been together for long. it’s just the most amazing feeling, i can’t even describe it.
i woke up to this email from my boyfriend
Hello there my sweet girlie :). Thought I would surprise you with a nice little email haha. I don’t really know what to say other then that I’m always thinking of you and your gorgeous face and the times we have been together. There has never been a dull moment in our relationship and I’m so glad! Besides being so god damn gorgeous your personality is amazing too! I love how...
i miss you
plain and simple. i can pretend that i’ve moved on, but i really haven’t.
i just want you back in my life.
30 june 2011
tmi
i came during sex for the first time today :3
*sigh* i’m going to miss my boyfriend
21 august 2011
rant time.
maybe if you weren’t such a two faced bitch, your boyfriend wouldn’t have broken up with you. ha, you blame him for everything that went wrong but it was really you that fucking ruined it. i can’t believe that anyone could treat their boyfriend like that. you tell him that he doesn’t deserve to be loved again. he is such an amazing guy and he deserves to have the best. he deserves to be treated...
tmi thursday
i’ve had sex with my boyfriend four times today.
he told me that he’s never cum more than once in a session…he came twice while i was giving him head the other day…..and he came four times today. oh and i gave him road head when we went to see the padres game and he said it was the best head he’s ever gotten (he’s gotten a lot of head btw hahah)
ugh we have such amazing sex. seriously. i’m...
everyone else has stopped talking to me. idk why, i did nothing wrong.
i can’t wait till i get myself out of this hellhole.
all i have to say to all of the people i thought i knew:
fuck you and have a nice life.
16 august 2011
I HAVE REALIZED SOMETHING ABOUT MYSELF TODAY.
friend wise, i am attracted to younger people.
but when it comes to dating and relationships, i am attracted to older people.
i mean this isn’t like some life changing revelation or anything, i’m just saying.
3 august 2011
my mom is forcing me to go to the gym. i have made it clear that i DO NOT WANT TO GO.
and she gets pissed when i imply that i don’t want to. she says that i need to do things.
I HAD A FUCKING FULL TIME JOB. i worked 40 hour weeks and one time a 60 hour week. i had my tonsils taken out. i was in so much pain, i couldn’t eat for three weeks, and then i started vomiting blood. i couldn’t do...
TMI about my sex life coming up
i liked how markos always kissed me really passionately afterwards.
i loved how i could tell how tyler got soooo into it when i was on top. and i liked that he could be honest and straightforward about how he was still in love with his ex and that he still cared about me but not like that.
kevin…well, kevin made me squirt…enough said.
i loves how carlos would always want to cuddle...
i know you’re not supposed to fish for compliments or whatever…but i kinda feel like crap right now. today i found out that i’m anemic and i might have some type of blood clotting disorder. the boy i feel for head over heels is going to audiotistic with some other girl. the two other guys i’ve started things with recently, never respond to me.
idk, i just want to know that i have some worth to...
this weekend, i discovered that mixing joose, weed, and lots of gay men clothed in glitter, speedos, and wings, is not a good idea. especially if you’ve basically been sober for two months.
21 july 2011
tmi...saturday
so carlos came over last night and i told him i was on my period…i knew he’d still want to fuck me cause he’s just awesome like that.
…and THEN he ate me out. what. i mean yeah it feels amazing but dude i’m on my period. doesn’t that gross you out?
idk if i’ve ever said this on tumblr, but i have never had an orgasm from sex. it’s happened twice while a guy was fingering me, and they weren’t...
I HAVEN’T BEEN THIS HAPPY IN A LONG TIME, AND IT...
15 july 2011
my mom thinks that i was sleeping better because i had my tonsils taken out.
now i know for a fact that it was because of the prozac. i don’t want to start taking it again though because it’s either feeling numb, feeling suicidal, and sleeping well, or feeling the ups and downs, feeling suicidal, and not sleeping well.
i don’t want to be numb anymore.
13 july 2011
i’ve stopped taking the prozac. it’s weird, but i actually feel better. yeah, there are more ups and downs, but i feel like i can handle them now. i don’t feel numb anymore.
10 july 2011
before you read this, just know that you might get offended or think i’m ignorant or whatever. but this is my tumblr, and i can write about what i want to write about. this probably doesn’t make much sense to you and honestly i don’t care about that either because it makes sense to me.
i don’t like it when people say stuff like “oh you think your situation is bad? look at how bad THIS person’s...
i just saw this picture that my ex posted on facebook about how he thought his new girlfriend was the best & classiest prom date a man could have. up until this point i was like “oh whatever” cause at prom our senior year(last year) everyone kept telling me how he had downgraded (we had just broken up and he brought her instead). i know it’s petty, but it made me happy.
but anyways..i keep...
i'm sick of this constant hunger
i’m still too scared to eat solid food because i don’t want to start gushing blood everywhere again. i can eat mashed potatoes and like…really ripe watermelon and cantaloupe, but i’m sick of everything else that i can eat (jello, ice cream, oatmeal, pasta). my parents are making me drink nutrition shakes because i’ve already lost more than 10 pounds (i’m down to 128 btw). i can only eat really...
i don’t like taking the prozac even if it did stop me from feeling fucking suicidal all the time for the few days i took it like i was supposed to.
if i take them, my mother will be all pissy about how i’m “taking drugs i don’t need”.
if i don’t take them, she’ll be mad at how i’m wasting all her time and energy and how i’m just making her hurt even more.
well maybe if you took YOUR fucking...
i really fucking hate what my life has become. i hate how i can’t just accept what i have and be happy anymore. i hate the feeling of not being sober minded, yet i also hate what runs through my thoughts when i’m sober. i hate how alone i feel all the time. i hate how my life has become a cycle of waking up, working a full day, crying myself to sleep, and then tossing, turning, and waking up all...
when i was younger, like from eighth grade to sophomore year, i used to do this thing where i would take something semi sharp like the broken edge of the plastic ruler from my planner or like a safety pin and i’d scratch at my skin until it turned pink. i’d stop once i broke the skin because i didn’t want anyone to know what i was doing…so that’s why i don’t have typical “cutting scars”…
well,...
it’s weird…for the first time in a while, i don’t want to smoke, i don’t wanna roll, i don’t wanna try acid, i don’t even want to drink. i don’t want to escape from reality. all i want to do is to get a job, get myself the fuck out of this house, and go back to school.
i don’t even know why.
16 may 2011
i cant sleep. i guess tonight’s going to be another one of those cry myself to sleep nights.
that’s cool, i guess.
18 april 2011
i hate the way things are going
i hate how things are going with you. i don’t know what you want from me.
and i hate that i decided to like you instead of carlos, or markos, or diego, or kevin, or anthony, or mark, or andrew, or stephen, or nacho, or even any of the other guys that have hit on me recently for christ’s sake. at least they made the first move. i’m the one that kissed you yesterday. you acted like you wanted to...
i just realized that my life started going to shit just about a year ago. coooooool.
first it was the breakup, then the sex, then the e, then drinking, then cigs, then weed.
and i still can’t seem to stop fucking things up.
5 march 2011
You're not special
yeah you’re fun to be around and you can be pretty sweet and all…
but let’s face it.
you talk to other girls, i talk to other guys. i could easily have any of them if that’s what i wanted.
we could be so great for each other. but that’s not what you want.
you don’t want to be with me.
i don’t even know if i want to be with YOU anymore.
things went downhill really quickly. i mean we’ve...