i hate the way things are going

i hate how things are going with you. i don’t know what you want from me.

and i hate that i decided to like you instead of carlos, or markos, or diego, or kevin, or anthony, or mark, or andrew, or stephen, or nacho, or even any of the other guys that have hit on me recently for christ’s sake. at least they made the first move. i’m the one that kissed you yesterday. you acted like you wanted to be with me so badly and then there’s this? i can’t fucking handle it anymore. you look down on me like i’m such a big druggie and a whore but i’m NOT! i’m really fucking not. you don’t know me. you don’t know why i am the way i am. i used to be a naive little girl who thought she as in love with her boyfriend. once that ended, shit started to spiral downwards and now i’m just a fuckup in your eyes. but who are YOU to judge me? you told me that for a while there you were doing drugs and having sex and that’s why you got your tattoo. and you even said that you thought it was okay to hook up or smoke every once in a while. and you act like you’re so much better than me! get off your high horse and look at the reality of the situation. you piss me off and you’re really not very nice. you’ve been making fun of me and saying mean things about me and even though you might be joking, it hurts. i’m a fragile person, and if you actually cared about me, you would stop being such an insensitive asshole and take into consideration who you’re walking all over.

i should never have texted you when you sent me your # in a facebook message.

8 march 2011