i don’t like taking the prozac even if it did stop me from feeling fucking suicidal all the time for the few days i took it like i was supposed to. 

if i take them, my mother will be all pissy about how i’m “taking drugs i don’t need”.

if i don’t take them, she’ll be mad at how i’m wasting all her time and energy and how i’m just making her hurt even more. 

well maybe if you took YOUR fucking meds you wouldn’t feel the need to bitch at me all the fucking time. you always complain about how you have to walk on eggshells around me, but have you ever realized that I’M the one who has to walk on eggshells? any little thing i say will set you off on a screaming fit for at least two hours. and i just have to sit there and take it all. 

whatever, i don’t want to even think about that anymore. at this point i’d seriously consider moving in with my grandparents to avoid you. 

but i took all the pills like i’m supposed to and i’m just hoping it will make me drowsy so i’ll have some chance at falling asleep tonight